4 Year old behavior out of answers!!!

Patient: My son is turning 4 in August. He was diagnosed with sleep apnea last year and had his tonsils and adenoids removed, also had wax build up in ears. Specialist said I should see a change in behavior in 6 months but feel like it’s worsened.I’ve been looking for an answer for a while and haven’t gotten anywhere. He now can’t sit still he is easily distracted, cries about EVERYTHING, when I take him to someone else house let alone at home he will NOT share and I feel like when I talk to him I’m repeating myself all day. He won’t listen and I find he doesn’t understand what I’m saying. We’ve tried timeout, taking toys away, yelling and last resort bottom spanking and have no results. It’s like he doesn’t get why he’s in trouble. Please help!!!!