Concerned about incest fetish

Patient : I have a question pertaining to a certain fetish I have. If I have sex ( I am a 29 year old female) with my significant other, I have to pretend he is my father or my grandfather or uncle or someone related to me who is much older and I am much younger to orgasm. I have read other places this is "normal" but I don't see how it could be, I literally HAVE to role play this type of scenario or I cannot even really "get into it" I can tell my SO is kinda weirded out and don't like to "play along" with me as much as I would far as play along I mean I wish his dialog during was more graphic and forceful...I tell him to pretend he is "raping" me during it...I know that any man who is somewhat "normal" might find this off-putting.. I also find I dissociate during sex, I particularly like to hide my head under blankets and turn my head away.... The thing that bothers me is I have no recollection of any sexual abuse, it possible I was abused and have no memory of the abuse? There are large chunks of my childhood I do not remember and that concerns me. Is this normal sexual behavior? Does it suggest any kind of childhood trauma?
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