Depression due to lonliness and feeling of being different from others
Patient : Iam a 21 year old boy. i used to be girlish in my childhood.my parents always tried to change me. as i grew up i started changing but still i was different from other boys.i could make only few friends and always had fear and a atrange kind of nervousness while talking with other boys.sometimes my friends made fun of me.due to fear of mockery i always tried tochange my way of talking ,walking. i used to get hesitated to tell my parents as what will they think of me.as i grew and went to high school my problem increased.ihad only few friends.some boys said very painful things to me throughout my school life which hurt me alot and made me heart broken. i used to feel lonely and seperated.i was getting depressed.i always used to imagine of me being like other boys.i was very good at studies.in class 10 all boys used to discuss of choosing stream .they would say only girls take bio and boys take maths.i was very good at biology even my bio teacher wanted me to take bio but because of same fear i took maths and pretended i loved maths, but i was cheating myself.due to this mistake my whole future has totally changed.now i rregret my mistake. sometimes in school i used to walk lonely and feel the lonliness.it was a strange kind of feeeling which i can't explain.my talents creativitty passion confidence and enthu all started to diminish. i always used to think about this alone and sa why me whats my fault .why iam different from other boys.i didnot know i was being dragged towards depressiion.i always imagined that after my school i would leave this place and in college start a new life where i will have lot of friends and live happily.but life had other plans for me.history repeated itself.in my college again i was alone.i could not talk and mixup with other boys.i dont know why but in their presence i felt uncomfortable.i couldnot talk llike them.i behaved in a strange way which i didnot want to. i mostly quiet in front of them i used to feel different from them so i kept myself in room alone.again my drreams crashed .this made me depressed.i could not talk about this to anyone.noone was interesed to befriend me. even in crowd i used to feel alone.ihated my life. i canot talk abot this to my parents.i think i should not drream because they dont come true in my life.my life became very boring.all others were enjoying college life.they were ready to start a new life. a life of youthness a life of spirit love and happiness but i stayed there where i was.but i still imagine and see things happening in favour of me in my dream life. i dream of being happy having friends being masculine and enjoy life.i want to be like other boys it is my right.sometimes i feel to escape this world and live in my own virtual world. a world where iam a winner and accepted by others.please help me.
These Q&A’s are for educational purposes and should not be relied upon as a substitute for medical advice you may receive from your physician. If you have a medical emergency, please call 911. These answers do not constitute or initiate a patient/doctor relationship.