Do I have depression?


Q: I have been suffering since I was around 9 years old. I caught my mom cheating on my dad several times but I couldn't talk to anyone about it. Most probably due to cowardice. I am now 21 years old. My dad found out around 4 months ago. They decided to separate, but they got together again. My mom emotionally tortured me growing up - with all her lies, her insecurities that she passed on me the best she could, always told me i'm a bad person, etc. etc.. For the longest time, I thought my insecurities and my hatred and moodiness were just my personality.

But 4 months ago, when my dad found out the truth, exactly that time, I started texting this guy. The first 2 weeks of the texting, I couldn't think of anything else but him. Not normal considering that I always thought about my problems, then I would cry. My obsessive and consistent thoughts of him bothered me so much because we only texted for 2 months, and I only met him once. He became like a "thought blocker" and I cannot control my thoughts anymore. I am thankful because he saved me from myself for several months. I cannot imagine what I would have done if I weren't thinking about him. The first two weeks, I was just in bed thinking about him. But I could barely get out of bed. It is so confusing. Why do I think about him amidst more serious problems?

But now, the texting stopped. I am going back to my very sad state. I cannot control this sadness anymore. I feel empty and hopeless for the future. And also scared. If I completely stop thinking about him, I am scared that I will think about "other" things. Recently, I have been very tired of life. I am thinking of death (but not HOW I would kill myself, just death in general). I don't know what to do. I cannot control my thoughts. What is happening to me? Is this depression?

Symptoms:  Disinterest in things, sad for a long time, no hope for the future, thoughts about death (but not suicide)

A:   This question is currently in queue and will be answered shortly by one of our doctors. In the meantime you may browse our library of answered questions by clicking here.

Related Q&A

Q: I lost my medication en route to a remote island in the Bahamas. I am gone for one week. I was on 10 mg of Paxil. I...

Q: I forgot to bring my prescription medication- an antidepressant on my trip to the Bahamas. The drug is an SSRI calle...

Q: I started taking fluoxetine yesterday, I took 40ng yesterday and 20 today but forgot to check about things like Niqui...

Q: Hi, I am really struggling, I feel like I have become completely alone, because a new psychiatrist I saw has diagnose...

Q: Hi, I recently had more depression and went into insomnia, i consulted a doctor and he adviced me for a blood test. ...


Dr. James Obaji M.D.

  • 247 Reviews
  • Family Physician

Dr. Suneel Sharman M.D.

  • 190 Reviews
  • Family Physician

Dr. Pat Golden M.D.

  • 169 Reviews
  • Cardiologist

Dr. Kunaal Jindal M.D.

  • 112 Reviews
  • Plastic Surgeon