Feeling far too much pain to lose virginity, what should i do?

Patient : I am a 23 year old female and i am still a virgin. I have been in a loving relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years but cannot have sex. Every time we attempt to make love it REALLY hurts and i want to stop. I hate pain and im scared to do it now. I really do not know what to do about it because its something i would love to share with him and find it unfair as he is ever so patient with me. We have tried lubes. I have even tried to insert a tampon or even my finger while taking a hot bath but nothing seems to work, the pain is overwhelming. Is there a way of eliminating the pain of the first time or even first few times? I dont think i could bare such pain, it is excruciating and i could not willingly go through it no matter how much i love my boyfriend. Please if you have any advice on what i could do it would be greatly appreciated! Thank you
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