For the past 11 years, I have felt very different


Q: For the past 11 years, I have felt very different than other girls. I am 21 years old, I work 47 hours a week, and live with my boyfriend and his mother. The past 3 years have been complete hell. Little rude comments at work from customers, managers, my boyfriend, my mother, and his mother spiral me into complete depression. I get so angry to the point of contemplating suicide. I recently lost my good friend of 9 years a year and a half ago to a tragic car accident. It makes me have thoughts like 'why can't I be with her wherever she is?' it makes the thought of suicide much more easier. I constantly feel antsy and anxious like I HAVE to do something and I don't know what it is, Restless, you could say. I work in drive thru at mcdonalds taking roses and handling money at the same time and I've been doing it for 3 years and still feel very overwhelmed and aggravated. My boyfriends mother is very loud and talks a lot and that makes me want to hurt myself physically. She doesn't like me and I sometimes feel like she does certain things on purpose to hurt my feelings or sabotage me. Day by day I feel overwhelmed and unhappy. I feel like everyone else around me thinks I'm crazy and are perfectly happy and healthy while I'm freaking out over little things every minute of the day. Please. Help me. Tell me what is wrong with me??


A:   Hello,
Thanks for the query.

It is indeed sad and disheartening when you lose a true friend. Anybody in your place would feel the same and suffer.
Remember that everyone goes through a bad patch in their life. It could be due to major or minor problems. In your case it is the interpersonal problems that is making you weak.
Do not worry about others and don't let their behaviour affect you. Stay strong and focus on what best you can give to make your life peaceful and happy. Consult a psychiatrist to avoid thoughts on self-harm and depression. The doctor will counsel you and even start you on medications if required to help you better.
Read a lot of books about positive life and achievers. Focus on your career and indulge in a lot of hobbies and things that make you happy. Slowly with time good things will unfold.

Hope this helped.

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