Hey, I'm an 18-year-old female, and recently started dating


Q: Hey, I'm an 18-year-old female, and recently started dating my best friend. We've always trusted each other and we know each other like no one else. The point is I'm a virgin, but I'm sure I want to lose my virginity with him (he's not a virgin). We've engaged other kinds of sexual activities like mutual masturbation and oral sex, but never vaginal or anal sex. Now, the problem is, everytime I masturbate on my own, my pelvic muscles start to clench and contract when I orgasm and sometimes it causes me to poop... it's so embarrasing! I've never told my boyfriend about this situation, but he knows something's going on, because everytime he fingers me I'm not able to come, no matter if he does it for an hour straight (I just feel like I'm about to come, but never do) and the reason is I don't let myself fully go because of the fear of having an "accident".
I don't know what to do, because even though my boyfriend and I love and trust each other, this is just too embarrasing to tell him about it, but my main worry is that this "accident"happens the first time we have sex, because it would be disgusting and would ruin me for a long time... please, please help!
By the way, I don't have any incontinence problem, this just happens during vaginal masturbation. I'm also a squirter, but I don't think that has anything to do with my problem... thanks!


A:   Hello
Thanks for using "Ask The Doctor" for posting your query.

Being a squirter is fine and normal provided your boyfriend should be comfortable with it. Regarding the poop episode, feeling that one if going to poop is very commonP but most people don't actually poop. What you can do is you can visit the washroom before you plan for sex so that you keep the rectum and colon empty. Most of the times, this simple act can reduce the instances. If it still persists then you need to go for relaxation therapy and biofeedback therapy to understand and reduce your pelvic floor tension and get more relaxed during the sexual process. These therapies are done by psychologist.
Do meet your Doctor and get a referral to a clinical Psychologist.

Hope this helps.
Wish you a good health.

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