Patient :Hi, I am really struggling, I feel like I have become completely alone, because a new psychiatrist I saw has diagnosed me with Factitious disorder; this means that all my symptoms are fake. I am finding it really difficult to understand how / why I feel so terrible if none of it is real, and I really wish it was all fake so that I didnt have to feel like this. I am completely confused, and cannot speak to anybody, because obviously (having read things about this condition now) nobody will take me seriously about anything. So I am completely alone, with just the Samaritans helping me through everything. It was made much worse because of the way the new psychiatrist was shouting at me, when I already have huge problems with guilt, and now has told me my behaviour is causing other significant distress - so I cannot deal with this type of guilt, and have had to stop speaking to all friends / neighbours, as I cant cope with causing people distress. I seem to have spent half my life trying to help people (and animals) alleviate distress, and now I am the cause of it, and I just feel like I cannot allow myself to live and have this affect on people, and that I need to get rid of myself. I have tried a few times before, but obviously have not been successful, but I feel like its my only way out. I have read horrific stories written by medical professionals about how much they loathe people with this diagnosis, as they are "time wasters", and a drain on resources, and if that is me, I cannot allow myself to do this to people, I constantly want to injure myself, to punish myself for everything and want to get rid of myself. I dont know how to cope with being such a terrible person. Thank you for reading all of this, Emma.
I have read your case and can understand your concern.
You don't have to feel guilty about yourself.
If you are feeling that there has been misdiagnosis you can always consult another doctor.
It happens sometimes that doctors may end up with misdiagnosis and it's not a very big deal because they are human beings too.
Please relax and stop thinking yourself as burden over society.
It is advisable for you to consult another psychiatrist and discuss with him/her your symptoms .
He/she may evaluate you and accordingly start you with appropriate medications like SSRI and benzodiazepines along with psychotherapy (cognitive behavioural therapy)
Hope I could solve your query
Feel free to write back
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