Hi, I am really struggling, I feel like I have

Patient : Hi, I am really struggling, I feel like I have become completely alone, because a new psychiatrist I saw has diagnosed me with Factitious disorder; this means that all my symptoms are fake. I am finding it really difficult to understand how / why I feel so terrible if none of it is real, and I really wish it was all fake so that I didnt have to feel like this. I am completely confused, and cannot speak to anybody, because obviously (having read things about this condition now) nobody will take me seriously about anything. So I am completely alone, with just the Samaritans helping me through everything. It was made much worse because of the way the new psychiatrist was shouting at me, when I already have huge problems with guilt, and now has told me my behaviour is causing other significant distress - so I cannot deal with this type of guilt, and have had to stop speaking to all friends / neighbours, as I cant cope with causing people distress. I seem to have spent half my life trying to help people (and animals) alleviate distress, and now I am the cause of it, and I just feel like I cannot allow myself to live and have this affect on people, and that I need to get rid of myself. I have tried a few times before, but obviously have not been successful, but I feel like its my only way out. I have read horrific stories written by medical professionals about how much they loathe people with this diagnosis, as they are "time wasters", and a drain on resources, and if that is me, I cannot allow myself to do this to people, I constantly want to injure myself, to punish myself for everything and want to get rid of myself. I dont know how to cope with being such a terrible person. Thank you for reading all of this, Emma.
Doctor :   I have read your case and can understand your concern. You don't have to feel guilty about yourself. If you are feel ing that there has been misdiagnosis you can always consult another doctor. It happens sometimes that doctors may end up with misdiagnosis and it's not a very big deal because they are human beings too. Please relax and stop thinking yourself as burden over society. It is advisable for you to consult another psychiatrist and discuss with him/her your symptoms . He/she may evaluate you and accordingly start you with appropriate medications like SSRI and benzodiazepines along with psychotherapy (cognitive behavioural therapy) Hope I could solve your query Feel free to write back Regards

Comments / Follow Ups

Patient: hi, thank you for getting back to me quickly. I cannot help my feelings unfortunately, I have had problems with feelings of guilt for a very long time. I already take Mirtazapine, zopiclone, diazepam, thyroxine, Iron, and nutritional milkshakes. And have been on them for a few years. I had to move house back here, last year, as my house was reposessed. Now I am in an impossible situation regarding second opinions. I dont know which country you are in, but here everyone has the right to ask for one, but there is no legal right to actually get one. And I lived on an isolated Scottish Island, with a visiting Psychiatrist who comes from the mainland. The psychiatrist I had before, in Aberdeenshire was completely different., and I am not used to being shouted at (although ive only seen him twice), and feeling worse after an appointment. I dont know how to find another psychiatrist. And I feel like I have to avoid my GP, because nobody trusts me. I have no idea whether there is a misdiagnosis, I just wish that the symptoms were all fake, then I wouldnt have to feel like this constantly. I had previous diagnoses of complex grief reaction, depression, and PTSD before moving. And have spent a lot of time in hospital, although I hated being there. Recently I was sent to the local hospital, I begged the police not to send me there because I didnt want to get into trouble but they promised me I wouldnt be in trouble, then I found myself in trouble (!). I know I probably sound like an insolvable case, and apologise, but thank you for getting back to me, Emma.
Doctor: Hello
Thanks for writing back.
I can understand your concern.
Please don't make opinion about any doctor .
Not everybody would shout at their patients.
Please try to consult psychiatrist as he would be in best position to evaluate and treat you properly. Meanwhile you can try Cognitive Behaviour Therapy either by meeting psychologist or online CBT forums. This would help you a lot in reducing your guilt and low mood.
Hope I could solve your query
Feel free to write back
Patient: I cannot go back to the psychiatrist, I am terrified of him. And i cannot contact anybody else in the mental health team, so I am completely alone, and I know I have to fix everything myself. I feel like my brain is constantly torturing me, and I have to keep hitting my head to get things out of it, especially the visions that I keep getting more of, (they seem to happen more when im stressed more), and I am still finding them hard to deal with and upsetting. I know that I have to fix myself, because I cannot have anything to do with people in the health service, but I cannot cope living like this. I dont know who I am. Do you have any suggestions how to make everything go away, because I have to do it alone. Thank you. Emma.
Doctor: Hello
I can understand your concern but you need to go to doctor for getting relief.
If you are not able to or wish to meet new psychiatrist you can consult your doctor who might advice you with treatment or help you with the some therapist.
You can try option of CBT online and you may not need to visit therapist frequently
Hope I could solve your query
Take care

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