Hi I wanted to ask you something about my mentalityI have

Patient : Hi I wanted to ask you something about my mentality.I have a bad habit of drinking alcohol very badly.initially i used to be very careful after i am drunk. starting from 2 months i am not able to control my mind after i am drunk. I will get bad thoughts in my mind, like it make think that even people are thinking like me,what i am doing when i am drunk. I will not come to know easily what i am doing .though i feel that i am doing something wrong , one side of my mind never allow me to control myself, i do not know why is this happening. i am so scared to live.Please suggest me something.
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