Hopeless of my life


Q: Hi ,
my name is mahmoud mansour . i am from Egypt . i am 18 years old guy . going to collage soon . (Faculty of Electronic Engineering) it's one of the best collages here is egypt .

i have many problems it all began since my brother died
i think i was a normal guy before that
i and my brother weren't In agreement most of the time we had many fights and sometimes i wished he DIE but i always get back in my wish even if he didn't apologise . after all he is my brother and i love him

after he died i found out that he was the right one in every thing and he was advising me somehow that i couldn't understand when i was young . but when i grow up i found out that he was the only one that i could depend on and how many things that we could make it together .

and now i miss him very much i may cry for hours and every time i remember how he died and his last look at me and i remember myself running for the hospital to ask for ambulance because they took hours to respond on the phone and guess what the ambulance came and the medics just told us easily "he is dead" . they didn't even try to do any thing more than this .

this memory left me broken and as a kid i headed to computer and video games just to forget

i have been playing video games since 5 years . no hobbies , no new friends or relationships

i have destroyed myself i was normal guy without these video games . i spend like 12 hours a day on pc when i am in a holiday or something but i never try to do any activity or any hobby .

i have lost my Confidence in myself and i don't make any new friends i think that my only 3 close friends are enough

i don't even love to take any pics or videos i always think that i am looking like ****

i cant deal with new people or have a talk with them i don't find any thing to say or a joke .

i am hopeless . i am sure my life with my brother would be much better and i wouldn't be that one how have no Confidence or hobbies .


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