How to beat a relapse

Patient: I am currently struggling with anorexia and disordered eating: this Winter and Spring I got really sick, however, I never actually dropped below a healthy BMI. I’ve slowly and reluctantly been working with a nutritionist to work my caloric intake back up, but recently I gained 6 lbs. Being 5 feet tall, that’s a lot. I was so happy where I was and that was a major blow to me. Now I’m thinking of ways I can curb those old fat habits, like eating on impulses, and trying to eat regularly. My nutritionist said I can eat a bit less now, but changing is a bit difficult now. I’m looking up a lot about eating disorders online like reading other people’s recovery stories or interviews, and saw a pro ana site for the first time. Even though it’s hard to eat less, I find that sometimes I’m feeling competitive; that I wasn’t really anorexic because I wasn’t even below a healthy BMI, let alone hospitalized. So I have conflicting thoughts about going anorexic again. How can I lose the weight as well as fight bad thoughts?