Husband not revealing STD


Q: I have been married 12 years, only partner. My husband found out the first of august that he has an std. He started an affair 1 year ago. I got tested for all STD's in december once i found out about the affair but have continued to be sexually active with him until april. Is it possible that my husband had this std for years without showing signs and not transferring it to me. I personally think the other woman gave it to him, but neither one will admit to it. They wont tell me what std, they just keep saying get tested.


A:   Sexual Transmitted Diseases that can be tested for include chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, HIV, AIDS, HPV and syphilis. There are also STD's that can not be tested for but are diagnosed visually such as herpes and genital warts.
Each STD has its own incubation period before it can be diagnosed and some STD's can be "silent" for a long period of time. Studies indicate that 50% of men with STD's experience no signs or symptoms so it can be very difficult to trace who contracted the disease from whom.
In your specific situation, if your husband has been your only life time partner, then he has contracted the disease from someone other than you.  The disease he has contracted is important to know because some can be cured, others can be managed but almost all have implications if not treated early - especially if you are in your child bearing years.
The standard of care in all medical practices is to treat all sexual partners of known cases of STD carriers and in cases where cures are not available, the standard of care is to retest at 1, 3 and 6 months after last sexual intercourse and precentative medications may be offered.
It is unacceptable for your husband to withhold such information as it can have large health consequences.In some jursidictions, this is also a criminal offense.
My best suggestion is to make an appointment with his doctor and inform him what has taken place.  He may not be able to provide you with the medical diagnosis but he will be able to provide you with appropirate treatment, testing and advice.

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