I suspect I have vaginismus


Q: I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend and I suspect I maybe having vaginismus. I am 22 and my boyfriend is 23 years old. I can let him insert one finger comfortably, two with discomfort and pain...but penetration with his penis just seems impossible. His penis bends as if he is hitting a wall.
Since I am student, I cannot afford to consult a therapist. Also, due to my cultural upbringing, I cannot discuss this issue with my family either since premarital sex is not encouraged. My question is, is it possible to cure this issue myself at home? What steps should I follow? Kindly help.

Symptoms:  Impossible penetration during sex. Any forcible attempts by my boyfriend causes excruciating pain. Can comfortably insert finger though

A:   Hello,
Thanks for the query.
Problems in insertion are very common in first timers and people who have pre-marital sex. It could be due to anxiety, fear and taboo related issues which stresses the mind , incomplete erection in the males , loss of erection very early and hence poor penetration, dry vagina and lack of lubrication and vaginismus are all the common causes.
Here are a few steps to combat the issue
1. Before actually attempting to insert the penis, make sure there is a good time given to foreplay, as it increases secretions and improves penetration
2. In case dryness persists, use a vaginal lubricant like KY jelly just before you start the intercourse
3. Reduce your anxiety and relax before sex, as most of the time, it is stress that causes the problem
4. Same applies with your boyfriend as well, ask him to be relaxed and it will improve erection and help it to last longer so that he can penetrate easily
5. Make sure to use a condom since it is a premarital sex and you will wish to avoid getting pregnant
6.Try doing this multiple times and even then you feel the problem persists, seek the help of a specialist
Hope this helped

Comments / Follow Ups

Patient: Thank you very much!

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