In elementary, I loved school I wanted to do the

Patient : In elementary, I loved school. I wanted to do the best, and be the best. I was competitive before I even thought about colleges or anything of the sort. I had deeper thinking than most of my classmates in elementary. You can probably tell that by the fact that I even wrote this. I thought about things no 3rd or 4th grader would remotely be thinking about. I was a nut case when it comes to my grades(I still am, they just kill me inside now. (You'll find out why later.) I only think I missed one homework in elementary, and I remember crying the whole day about it. Speaking of crying, I now come upon my first symptom of ADHD. My hyperactive behavior. Because I would always have random thought in my head I would blurt thing out randomly, call out answers REALLY loud and generally be annoying. Physically I did all the things you're not supposed to. Hit people throw things the whole nine yards. I ran around my house for no reason and couldn't stop moving. But this is normal right? I'm just a kid, that's what kids do. So in come middle school and I get destroyed mentally, academically, and somewhat physically (while not much resembled in my appearance.) Now of course middle school is harder so of course my grades are going to drop right? Maybe you'd be right about that too. So in 7th grade I did good academically except for math because it took the most concentration for me. So my grades dipped low but i was able to recuperate and pass. At this point I haven't gone mental or physically wayside yet. I still had my friends no suicidal thoughts or depression, (although I did have these feelings in elementary for different reasons)I had will to live and most importantly I was happy. 8th grade comes along and unlike 7th grade I actually had an ok start with a math average around the low 80's. At this point please keep in mind that my standards have been SEVERLY lowered and this is the beginning of my transformation into somewhat of a different person. What was different about this year is that as the year went by, my 8th grade teachers was one of those that went faster and became somewhat rude as the year went by. Another key thing to note is that she did not answer questions. So I would not understand something she would not answer my question, and my low ability to concentrate left me with two options. Go to extra help (where she was very harsh btw but I went anyway) or go home and try and figure out the stuff and drill it into my head. I did both. That same year my grades went down in all other classes. My grades were not low, just not my old, much higher standards. By that time at the end of 8th grade I had kind of settled into new, lower standards. I was ashamed of myself, but not enough to the point where it played with my emotions. That year I scraped by I and managed not to fail. Now into 9th and 10th grade where things started to go bad. In 9th grade I basically barley failed. Both my regents and overall grade for math were within 4 digits of 65. I don't remember much from that year for some reason other than my science class which I enjoyed and while I didn't get my old standard grades in that class, I did good on the regents and have fond memories of my former friends and classmates in that class. Now that I think about it 9th grade wasn't a bad year until I found out I was going to summer school. I couldn't live with myself. In my, summer school class it was all 10th graders. I was the only 9th grader(I'm accelerated so I take classes a year ahead of the average pace of the curriculum) and at this point I started to get destroyed mentally. I was the only one who failed. Only I could have managed to fail. Only me. Keep in mind one thing I've kept with me from elementary is my work ethic. While my grades decreased, my work ethic only increased and is really high to this day. However, that wasn't the problem. So I pass summer school with the highest summer school GPA in my class. It was easy, I only had one job that summer. Pass summer school. Now into 10th grade. The 10th grade orientation( the orientation was when you went to the school a week or two before to see where your locker and your classes is and how the school is like etc.) In 9th grade, I took Pre-AP World History. AP standing for Advanced Placement. Over the summer I did the whole summer assignment packet like I was supposed to ( I still had my good work ethic.) At orientation when looking at my schedule with fiends I notice I have Global History instead, the non-advanced placement version of the class I was supposed to be taking. On the first day of school I go to my guidance counselor after school to find out she demoted me in fear of me doing bad in math again and knowing AP World History was hard she wanted to me to do good in that to help alleviate the bad math grade she predicted. Well, she couldn't have been more right. That's exactly what happened. However, I hated her for this because this was the beginning of me being destroyed mentally. Every day, I would walk the same hallway has my friends(student in AP) and then at the end of the hallway literally was my way down the staircase to the Global History room. I was LITERALLY BELOW the AP room. I felt inferior to these people. Also as a result I lost a lot of my friends in that class because the way my schedule worked that was supposed to be the class in which I would see everyone else that was not in my other classes. This was a contribution to the loneliest year ever. To keep up with the increasing workload I went home from school immediately. I mean, in record time. My mom would be parked outside and I would be gone. Now I had two groups of friends my friends that played basketball and my gamer friends who were yearning to be academically successful(like I used to be before everything went downhill.) I disconnected with my basketball friends because mainly my skin condition eczema got worse behinds my knees and the nerves and joint behind my knees would be very stiff(also it looked really bad) making it uncomfortable, hard, and embarrassing to play. Especially if I were wearing shorts. I didn't enjoy everyone questioning me as to why I was wearing sweatpants when it was so hot out. So I stopped it wasn't worth it. On top of that, this was the same year I would ultimately get my glasses adding to the my excuses. So now I am living this new lifestyle. I don't go outside on weekends I don't talk to anybody(one exception is a small group chat I have with my gamer friends) and I stay on my computer. So what was my hobby? I had to be doing something that I was invested in. For the most part I was training to become really good at a game called Super Smash Bros. Melee. The game somewhat resembles the old me. It is a super competitive, fast, hyperactive game that requires immense reaction time mental prediction and skill. I had tried to pick up a lot of things in the past but this was the first thing where I saw my growth and potential. Professionals who play this game are actually making a living off it now. So that is a possibility. It was one of the very few things that kept me happy. So there I was in 10th grade. I worked my butt off and for the most part did ok. But all I did was ok. And with college incoming ok isn't enough. In the middle of 10th grade were got our transcripts. This was a detailed summary of your middle school to current day career. I never doubted myself more than on that day. I began saying thing like: Is this me? How did this happen? How am I going to find a job when this is what I have to show them? This does not resemble me as a person? I have no future. I put my transcript in my binder and went to my next class. However, it would forever be in my memory. Skip 2 marking periods and it's the 4th marking period of the year. The last one. At this point I know I have failed math so my will power is drained there, however I enjoy my other classes. That year I took web design and computer programming, two classes I love to partake in. I was really interested in my chemistry class as well. It was around here that I actually noticed my difficulty concentrating which would lead me to research and self-diagnosis on the condition of ADHD/ADD. I was also looking into skin solutions and found that Omega-3's are good for your skin. Little did I know at the time that Omega-3 supplements are a legitimate way of treating ADHD. The 3 weeks took the Omega-3 vitamins, I had gotten my first 100 of the year in chemistry. I always did good but I lacked the focus to get 100. More importantly my math average went from high 40's to 77 which was a huge boost. Which led me to search "Does Omega-3 help ADHD which led me to find out what I did." That's all for my theory. Will I ever show this to anyone?, will I solve my newly gained depression problems?, will I start talking to my old friends again?. I don't know for sure. But one thing is certain, I am certainly going to summer school again. Ugh.
Symptoms:  Inability to concentrate
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