Patient : A few days ago I was full of energy and felt perfect in every way and couldn't sleep for more than a couple of hours each night for about 3 days. About 2 days ago in the afternoon it just stopped and I ended up crying because I felt useless until falling asleep. It's mellowed out a bit now but I still don't want anything to do with other people and have been lying in bed for two days. It used to be there was a week of feeling great and having a ton of energy, a week normal, and then a week being in a shell sleeping most of the time away and then a month or less of nothing for a couple of years.
Also sometimes nothing looks or feels real. It's like everything is fake and it gets really bright or dull and words look fake. Like they're just random letters and it has no real meaning but it's supposed to or that it's spelled wrong even if it isn't. Other times it looks normal. And someone, a close friend who is the only one that knows everything that is happening, say he thinks that coincidences set me off and make me think nothing and no one is real. There have been a few times where I've sent him odd text messages claiming everything to be fake including myself and that everyone knows the truth but cant tell me because I'll figure out how to leave or something. And something about seeing colors and the walls bulging out(expanding, breathing) or the room spliting and moving opposite directions or tilting.
No one can relate and finds it odd when I'll say "Oh, you know when the walls do this or words do that and it's red?" they don't understand it. And it has me confused. I'm not totally sure what to think anymore if it's all some big joke they're trying to pull on me, if everything really is fake and they're messing with my head, or if something is actually wrong. I'm on the fence right now, everything looks and feels pretty much real but idk what to think. If it isn't normal it's best to figure it out now while I can still kind of get into the inbetween or normal place than later. I'm confused and was wondering if someone here would know if this really is normal or not. If not I'll ask for help since it can cause a lot of stress, nothing is getting done, and items are being broken due to the stress. Just really confused.
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