Patient :Most of my life I have delt with the problems I am having so I will start as far back as I can recall for history sake.
From around the grade five is where I actually recall being able to remember the feeling, but I know it was an issue before hand. I have a hard time talking to people, even people I know such as my imediate family members. When I try to actually conversate with people I start over thinking on the things they are saying and I just keep hearing the words inside my head over and over again jumbling up and causing me to not be able to even think of what to say in reply, so then I start having a panic reaction where my chest starts to tighten up and my mouth goes dry and I can't help but feel an impending sense of doom like I am going to make a fool of myself and that person will do something (which is usually irrational, and I realize that, but I can't change it) I have the same issue, but even worse when talking to someone over the phone.
I have managed to cope with that issue most of my life, with it being tossed off as "shyness you will grow out of". I am now 23 and it is starting to become a detrament to my life. While I do have a job and I am well on my way to establishing a career I know I am lacking what my full potential and enjoyment of life could be. I work as a web developer, mostly coding, and I enjoy my job very much, but I am finding it harder and harder to actually stay on the task at hand, I commonly find myself bouncing from place to place fixing single parts instead of being able to take out a whole page and move on to the next one. This to is starting to become a concern as I know working anywhere else would be nearly impossible for me (I have had two other jobs that didn't pan out, one being fast food, which I was in a state of panic the whole time, the other was hotel desk work, but I had a hard time remembering all of the paperwork that was required and exactly how to do it)
A lot of my friends tell me that I have amazing ideas and that I need to actually pick on to follow through, but I never seem to enjoy anything for more than a few days if that, I start a new project every other day because I had an idea that was "better". Other things that I have noticed that are a concern, but may be unrelated to my problem, I seem to forget the daily tasks a normal person would do without thinking about it. I can end up going all day without eating and not realize it until I start getting pains, I have a horrible track of hygiene as I completely forget about showering, brushing my teeth as often as should, and I just seem to misplace everything all the time.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and hopefully I can get some insight as to what may be wrong?
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