Q: I don't know whether I am depressed or manic depressive. I will just get straight to the point: The last two years seen to be when it has started, I have been a truly 'happy' person for years but last two year have been worse, it began with love I think, I found the only person I have every truly loved besides family but it was not mutual, this reason made me think it wasn't depression but when I have learned to live with the idea of not being with this person it didn't stop, the subject matter just seemed to shift, to the future, or loneliness or just nothing which was what made me think it was depression most, I had weeks where I was just empty, a void, I looked to the future but all I saw was darkness, nothing and this all came with a complete lack of any motivation and whilst I never seriously contemplated suicide I found my brain lingering on it longer than it normally ever would. I haven't had anything quite that bad in a while but I did have a few more minor episodes along the way but lately I have found I have become very anxious, a nervous wreck at times which I don't know whether it is linked or not.
I say manic depressive also as I also rarely have episodes I can in describe as a type of mania, I am never an over excited person or I never show it, I'm quite calm and 'dry'
On the outside but everyone so often my motivation will shoot up, I will suddenly want to learn so many new activities and do so much!
Thanks. You can call me Dan, I'm 20 and would say I am quite a creative/intelligent person if leaned ness has any link to mental health which I assume it does.
Any answer or advice going forward would be much appreciated.

Symptoms:  As stated above.

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