Numbing cream for painful intercourse

Patient: I want to do sex with my husband and we have tried many times but still it doesn’t work at all…its because of im really scared because its going to hurt like hell since this is my first time having intecourse ..whenever we want to do sex i will be immediately got scared…i dont understand why this thing happens to me.Its impossible for anything to be inserted at the moment and its very thick which for sure is going to make intercourse really painful. I just wanted to know if i can use Emla ( Numbing Cream ) on the hymen prior the intercourse which will make everything alot easier for me and my partner. Please help me out on this, and if you have any personal experiences of a microperforate hymen please let me know, as i am ready but this thing is stopping me. Can you please also tell me how bad it hurtss… please i really want to do it with my husband..:(

Symptoms: First time sex