Patient :Hi Doc
My girl friend and i are having trouble with our sex life she has always been not that into never one to start the deed. But when we do get into it she can orgasm and stuff. its just she is always dry has a low libido when it comes down to anything sexual and its really frustrating for the both of us she even says she does'nt know why she feels like this. she does get horny but its take a lot to get into it. we also use lube buts its anoying and time consuming if you have any idea of what it could be or know how to fix it please help me and my partner out please thankyou
It is right that you decided to take help / opinion. The difficulty in sex life with your girl friend is one of the common problems many couple go through. To speak in general, it is well-known that women have comparatively less libido compared to men at any given age, they need whole lot of issues to get aroused, even if environment is favourable they take long time to get in mood and to get aroused and invariably less likely to reach orgasm. It is also fact that they need touch, romance and favourable relationship setting to reach the peak and the orgasm. It is also known that only a limited no. of females initiate sex. There could be many reasons, but above all the up bringing, risk of pregnancy and their own cyclical changes determine many such aspects.
Coming to your girl friend, it is necessary that she need to speak to a professional to understand what makes her inhibited and not get into the mood. Please talk to her to know about her inhibitions. Once not in the mood woman is likely to remain dry. So it is necessary that you spend time or more time talking to her, romance and arousing her by touch. There are various erogenous zones / spots in woman's body which need to be stimulated to get going. Also use of lub is fine and please continue its use when needed. One other way lubricated condoms can help in insertion.
It is also necessary that you try to understand her needs and necessities and respond to them. Afterall it is relationship that matters and making her secure ensures her cooperation for arousal and sex. If the problem persist professionals can be of immense help and whole modalities of sex therapy are available. More particularly that treatment called "sensate focus exercises are really helpful".
Being dry also needs a Gynec opinion to rule out any cause producing dryness, pain etc. Hope your question has been answered adequately. We wish you both best of luck.
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