Patient : Will god forgive me for the mistake i have done to her and her family
Well.. its going to be a small love story.. I met her 3 years back during lunch hours in my office and she has become very close to me as a best friend. we started roaming all the places in Bangalore and she used to share all the family problems, personal problems with me.. she used to hold my hands in auto and cry for everything.. I was there with her for all the happy and sorrow moments of her life. we had a very good level friendship. I knew that her mom is searching alliance for her for the past 2 years and nothing is coming in to her way. she used to hold my hands and cry how her mom is suffering because of this problem. we had a very good time in our office and weekends in Bangalore.. I become very close to her and I started thinking about her life and prayed all the god for the good alliance. In 2010, she got transfer to Chennai and I was continuing my job in Bangalore.. we used to chat and talk all the times though we are not near.. In 2011, I got an onsite opportunity to Europe and I asked her to come Bangalore for me as I going to fly very soon.. she came to Bangalore for me and we did all the purchase in sivaji nagar.. finally I went to the railway station to send off her and she asked whether I am ready to marry her or not.. I was thinking about both family situation and answered NO. she was okay with my answer but we knew that we were in love.. after I came to Europe we become very very close bcos of the distance.. we used to chat all the time in Skype and weekly once she used to come video chat.. most of the time she was asking like why cant we take risk and get married.. I felt like I am missing her so much and I still had a hope that I can live without her... In fib 2012, she got one alliance from us and her engagement was fixed suddenly in a week time.. she was very much happy that her engagement has been fixed and it went well in the first week of Feb 2012.. after her engagement she started ignoring me but still supporting me to come out of her feelings.. all my days went without sleep and food and I was thinking about our past days in Bangalore and went to the high level depression.
On feb 21, I was not sleeping and suddenly got up at 2am in the morning and made a call to my mom.. I started crying to mom and explaining that I am missing her a lot and I need her back in my life..my mom was ok with me and she said she will make a call to her mom and talk about that... during the high depression, I was totally out of control and suddenly went to Facebook page of her fiance and typed a message saying I was in love with her and I need her back so pls go away from her..hat time I didnt even think about her engagement, her feelings and did a very big mistake.. I made a call to her and explained that I informed to my mom about our love and I sent a message to your fiance to move out of her life.. but my destiny played here.. she has been officially registered with her after the engagement as she will get US dependent visa immediately.. I didnt know that the register marriage was done.. now my Facebook message has become a big problem in her life and her fiance started asking many questions about me.. she felt sick and taking rest for 1 month in bed.. her father had a heart attack and everyone is suffering because of me. my family, her family, her fiance family everyone is crying because of the mistake which I have done.. I felt guilty about myself and I went to her home to ask sorry to her parents.. but everything was wrong there. Her mom started crying and said it has become a big problem and we will take care of that. please dont send any mails and sums to her and just move away from her life... she never expected that I will do such a bad thing in her life as I was her best friend for past 3 year... now she is not in contact and I am feeling guilty and crying daily.. I lost my friendship, my love, everything.. I am not able to forgot her and I have become mentally mad.. everyone is here advising me but I am not able to come out of depression and thinking about the mistake which I have done to her life.. now I have two mind set..
- she should come back to me but she doesnt like me bcos of my mistake.. and she said she gave her heart to her fiance after the engagement and I am not in her heart anymore..
-if she is not mine, I would like to have a happy ending for everything.. so I want to meet and talk to her but I know it will make the problem very serious as she is already in sick and not in a situation to handle anymore shock.
she gave some chances and I didnt realize how the pain would be and I had a hope that I can live without her. I realized the pain after she left me and I feel guilty about myself for the mistake and dying daily.. I am not in contact with her for the past 1 month but I am still sending some emails without my control when I have high depression and feeling about her..
please tell me.. shall i go and meet her in presence now. i need a happy ending for our relationship
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