Patient :Well i'm 16 years of age. Have not been feeling happy since, well can't remember when i did feel happy. I have been feeling really sad last 1.5/2 years. It plays out like me hating myself, doubting myself with everything i do. Not being confident in anything i do and myself. Not liking human contact anymore, it's getting more and more harder to put my 'happy mask' on. I have so much trouble going to sleep i will be staring at my ceiling for 3 hours and still won't be falling asleep, and when i finally am i will be waking up every x hours. I am / feel alone. Have tought about ending it a few times. When i'd be on the street walking and see a brigde i will play out certain scenarios (involentarily) in my head like 'if i will fall of here what will i break or will i be dead'. I have trouble making choices. Having to think about a outfit to wear to the gym takes me 1 hour and actually trying on outfits takes a half. But 99.99% i still won't satisfied. I have lost my interest in things i like, like reading, doing parkour, knitting. With my sport, the harderst part is to get on my bike and go to it. And when i finally do feel mildly good for a short period of time afterwords i would be beating myself about it when i don't anymore, thinking i was stupid and shouldn't be or feel happy. Why i don't know. Have had a few times i'd burst in tears for no reason, when nothing happened before that to have triggered it.
My question is what do you think this is and what i should do.
Well this is the best way i could have it explained.
Sorry if my English sucks (not my motherlanguage).
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