What to do with my life?

Patient : I don't know why I want to live, that's the problem. I don't have anything to hold on and fight for. I don't love somebody in the way I should (family not included). That is the problem. I push away people from me but, deep down, I am broken. I currently study Mechanical Engineering, after finishing my High School with 18 out of 20. And... Here I am. All alone. Sometimes, I wish I was never born. At least, I would not be lying to my mom, saying everything is ok. My life is a lie. I am not what people think I am. I don't have the mind people think I have. I am a nobody... But even a nobody needs love. I tried to use reason on my life and.. Here I am. With no ground or ceiling. Going to university tomorrow, because I have to. Somewhere along the line, I lost love and I lost myself. I am lost and broken. Too bad nobody seems to notice or care about. My bet is that someday I will meet somebody and be happy. But.. What if I am wrong or if I fail? That being said... Why do I want to stay alive? And I know you can't help me.. But I had to speak... If I am wrong about my bet... Hope will be gone.
Symptoms:  Depression, mind, lost
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