Worried about medicine

Patient : My name is Gavin I am 23 years old and have been on ADHD medication for 20 years now. before I get started I do not want judgement nor negativity its not what I came to a site for I want help or advice. I started Adderall at about 4 years old took different meds until I was 19 and just recently started taking Adderall again this past june I am getting more and more worried as time goes on I have lost 35lbs since on the medication I have had EXTREME anxiety...( I was at a theme park this past weekend enjoying the Halloween festivities like always don't get scared eer but this year something scared me so bad I wanted to ball in a corner and hold my chest) I also have had slight depression before I started back up on adhd meds and its the worst ever since ive started on Adderall in my down time I just think about every bad thing that has happen to me or everything bad about myself its making me hate myself they also make me "jolt" or twitch if you will I am only taking 10mg a day but im scared HOWEVER I'm afraid if I do not take this medicine I will fail out of college I just started and lose my supervisor job when I'm off of them I have no filter I say whatever comes to mind I have nowhere to turn my pysch suck
Symptoms:  Anxiety
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